Normally I do not post content that is worthy of debate or discussion. Recently, however, something so extraordinary happened to me, that is wedding related, I had to post about it-there is no other way to get it off my chest.
First, I must mention, I am married, I have been a bride. I understand not being able to invite EVERYONE I've ever known or in all of my circles. I get having a reception with a max capacity of 75 vs. 200, which means the guest list needs to be chopped up to bits. This isn't really about that, it's...a little different.
So, I have this friend whom is getting married at the end of May. A year ago I was helping her by visiting venues with her. I loved doing this with her, and to help her have an extra set of eyes as we toured the different venues around Phoenix. I also dedicated a few inspiration boards to her with her desired color palette in mind, which she was grateful for.
Fast forward through the fast moving months, and now it's down to the weeks leading up to her wedding. I soon realize I hadn't heard a peep from my friend, regarding a bridal shower, and more importantly the wedding-however, Facebook updates run rampant with dress fittings, hair trials, bachelorette/bachelor weekend getaway, so I know the wedding is still on. I start to strum my fingers and begin to wonder if I am even invited.
I started to wonder how I would even go about finding out, without going straight to the source. I thought about reaching out to mutual friends, but then I stopped and decided to let this roll off my shoulders. I imagined that cutting guests to a specific number was the reason, however, when we began the venue search, 200 guests was the number she was set on. That could have considerably changed by the time a venue was chosen and booked, a fact I wasn't aware of, which is quite fine. I just naively assumed I was to be invited.
As I became comfortable with realizing an invitation wasn't going to land itself in my mailbox, I get an email late Saturday night, from my friend, the bride-to-be, with the subject "Wedding Shower". My heart jumped a little, excited to learn of the bridal shower, and hopefully a wedding invite to follow. This little jump in excitement lasted 1 second. The email pretty much explained how not all of the bride's friends could be included in the wedding guest list, so she was extending to those of us not invited to attend her bridal shower the following Saturday, so she can celebrate with all the women in her life as to not make anyone feel left out.
All I could think to myself was "wow". This bridal shower, just one week away, came with a hitch, a theme, for all to dress in Kentucky Derby style, with fancy dresses and large hats! Excuse me? This bridal shower was not just planned, I was an after thought, along with whomever else was blind copied on this email. The link to the Evite was included, and I really wish it wasn't, as it confirmed the shower was planned weeks ago. I don't have time to search for such a fancy dress and create a matching large hat for this shower, not to mention buy a gift. Oh, and the shower is to be held at a bar, and bets can be placed for the Kentucky Derby. Mint Juleps are to be served as well, but since I'm nearly 6 months pregnant, such beverages will not be consumed by me anyway.
I'm all about having a Kentucky Derby inspired bridal shower, I have even dedicated an inspiration board to such an occasion last year! However, this whole last minute, throw me into the guest pool for this shower, really is striking an unpleasant chord with me. I know it's all about the bride, but considerate thoughts should be made.
I would rather to not have received that email at all, and truly realize I wasn't invited to the wedding, than to get an email like that. I consider it a slap in the face from a person I thought valued friendship and knew proper etiquette.
So, I have to ask you fellow readers, would you deem this act as improper etiquette? Am I alone here with this feeling of disrespect on a friendship I thought was valued?