party comprise of. While from the outset it might not seem like a tough choice, trust us when we say it can be a lot harder selecting than you may first think. So to ensure you select your bridal party with ease and minus the drama we’ve put together our top tips.
If you’re used to organizing plans with larger groups then this won’t be as much of an issue. For some however an array of differing opinions can simply make things confusing and stressful. Picking a number is all about deciding upon what is practical and what you are comfortable with, this will be different for every couple so don’t bother trying to make comparisons.
You should aim to select people you actually want involved in your wedding, people that will keep you positive, are reliable and will help you with the planning. Most importantly they will have fun with the role and make the process more enjoyable for you. When it comes to selecting your bridal party members the first considerations should be towards including a sister, future sister in law or cousin that you are close with – as they say blood is thicker than water. However this doesn’t mean that you can’t leave family members out in favour of your closest friends.
It is important that you don’t succumb to the pressure to return the favor and include someone in your bridal party only because you were in theirs. Friendships change as years pass by and you may not be as close to someone as you were two years ago or you are now actually closer to others. Perhaps you have a larger circle of friends than that of the person whose bridal party you were a part of. Weddings are not about doing anybody else favors bridesmaids should be people who you know will continue to play a role in your life long after the wedding.
If you know one of your potential bridesmaids isn’t financially in the same place as the others, discuss this with them first to see whether they are financially comfortable in going ahead and being a part of your wedding. If you desperately want them involved in your wedding perhaps you can offer to pay for items to help them out but tread carefully, you don’t want to appear as if you are insulting them in any way. As an alternative perhaps suggest finding another role for them in the wedding. This could be simply having them recite a reading at your ceremony.
If you do feel that one of your potential bridesmaids may not be able to commit to your wedding, create an environment where they are comfortably able to decline your proposal. Do this by taking them out for coffee and let them know that ideally you would love to have them in your bridal party but completely understand for whatever reason that this may not be possible. Letting them know that you realise while your wedding is the biggest thing happening in your world it isn’t for everyone else can be all it takes.
Some of your friends or family may assume that they will be a bridesmaid in your wedding, if they in fact aren’t a part of your bridal party it is best to have a one on one discussion with them before it gets publicised who is indeed in your bridal party. Be considerate of others feelings it’s very easy for people to become resentful of your decision and moreover of your wedding. Of course you won’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings so be sure to have rational reasons as to why they won’t be in your bridal party. One reason may be that you only want three bridesmaids for financial reasons. It’s all about keeping the peace and not unwittingly damaging friendships so take how people may react into consideration.
When it comes time to picking your all-important maid of honor select someone you completely trust - sisters normally trump friends for this role but if you don’t have a sister or prefer someone else your oldest and most loyal friend is normally the obvious selection. Picking someone your fiancé gets along with is also a wise move. At the end of the day picture your wedding, who is standing next to you? Trust your instincts and you will get your bridal party right.
Great advice here! I've suffered the loss of a few friendships during wedding planning, unfortunately. I was the bridesmaid and maid of honor in those situations. If you want to hear those stories, leave a comment to start a chat.
Reading this is helpful and can maybe steer you from entering a situation where a relationship you have with someone might be jeopardized. As Kristi pointed out "keeping the peace and not unwittingly damaging friendships" is key in this part of the planning process.
Do you agree with the above? Let us know your feedback. Our thanks to Kristi for sending over your tips on how to best pick the bridal party members.
Kristi Charter is an experienced freelance writer with a breadth of knowledge across an array of subjects. Captivated by the wedding industry, Kristi is currently the Content and Social Media Coordinator at Giant Wedding Invitations.
Top Photo Credit: Geni of Pink Owl Photography